Kids Say the Funniest Things

a-linkletterI’m showing my age, but I remember when Art Linkletter, the gentleman pictured here, had a TV show called The House Party. On it he interviewed elementary or even pre-school aged children in an attempt to get them to say the darnedest things. Eventually he compiled them into a best selling book called Kids Say The Darnedest Things. As you know though, kids don’t always need prompting. Here is a collection of some of the the darnedest things I’ve heard in my classroom.

March 25, 2009

The Past
I put on some music this afternoon while kids were waiting for the bus. Josh asked if that was one of those 19 songs? Not understanding, I asked what he meant. “You know, like from the 1980s or the 1990s”. Guess this must be the future.

Curiosity
“Mr. Brown, is it against the law to skin a beaver?”

The Future
“When I grow up and have a daughter, I want to name her Capri Champagne”.

December 17 I Hate It When That Happens
“Mr. Brown, I accidentally stuck my fingers up Shawn’s nose?”

Hair
I showed a video made in the 80s, about the Southern region of  The United States. Within the first two seconds, one girl shouted, “Boy their hair is big!”

Social Studies Goes To The Dogs
While studying immigration, the students found out their family’s country of origin for an assignment. They shared in class that their families had come from all over the world; Russia, Poland, India, England, France, Germany, Belgium and more. One girl excitedly added that her dog had come from New Jersey!

Vets Rule
One of my students was excited to tell me this November 11th, that today is Veterinarian’s Day.

At Loose Ends
I was surprised to read on one student’s social studies test today, that we live in the Untied States.

Computer Etiquette
I explained to the students that they shouldn’t eat or drink around computers because if any falls inside the computer or the keyboard, it could cause damage. In hopes of bringing all home for them, I explained that computers don’t like food. “Oh yes they do”, chirped one boy. “They like computer chips !”

Why Lecompton Is Famous
The class has been studying Kansas and is now working on an Internet research project.  I overheard one child explaining that Lecompton is famous because of its historical building, Constipation Hall.

Homework
I told the kids that I wouldn’t send homework for them to do if they hadn’t had a chance to practice it at school first. If I did that, then parents would have to teach them how to do it. One girl said that her “parents couldn’t help her be

Dictionaries
4th grade grads all get dictionaries after our yearly awards ceremony. They were really excited to look through them when we returned to class. After about 5 minutes of exploration, I asked if they’d like to read some of the words they’d found. They were words like: pajamas, heart attack, economy, aspirin, underwear, belly button, junk food. Of course, they looked those words after they found all the “bad words” in the dictionary.

Crocs
One girl wore a lime green croc and a bright purple one today.  She told me that she had another pair just like them at  home.

Space & Chocolate
We read a story about satellites that have been sent into the solar system. The Voyager satellites, the story said,  were equipped with gold plated stereo records that held all types of sounds from earth. They used gold because it never corrodes. “Well”, said one child, “They should have used chocolate because we’ve had a chocolate bar in the refrigerator for like a year and its just the same as it ever was!”